Do English Muffins Really Need BOTH Nooks and Crannies?

It’s time to choose one or the other

Jim Nolan
2 min readJun 1, 2023
Illustration by Isabella Bannerman

For years I’ve eaten Thomas’ English Muffins, the ones that proudly claim to be “The Original Nooks & Crannies® English Muffin.” Okay, they’ve been talking about Nooks & Crannies as long Kellogg’s has been saying “Two Scoops” of raisins in every package of Raisin Bran.

But I’ve been wondering, what exactly is the difference between a nook and a cranny? They are always mentioned in the same breath, as if one cannot survive without the other, like ying and yang or Captain and Tennille. But couldn’t you have a nook by itself, or a cranny on its own? Wouldn’t a nook or a cranny capture pockets of butter or strawberry jam equally as well? With today’s high food prices, maybe choosing one or the other would save money.

According to Thomas, “griddle baking” and “coarse-grained, yeast-raised dough” are key to the muffins’ distinctive crunchy-on-the-outside, soft-on-the-inside texture. You split them with a fork, rather than a knife, so as not to injure those precious nooks and crannies. More work, but more taste.

Some would say that “nooks and crannies” is an idiom, and go together like pots and pans. Eh, I’m not buying it.

According to theidioms.com, the phase came about already in the 1300's. “Nook,” apparently, meant “a distant corner,” and “cranny, “a crack or gap.” The website goes on to cite the oldest example of the two words being bound together, an 1803 poem by Scottish writer James Cririe, who started all the trouble:

Yet, how endure the winter’s surly rage,

The deadly nipping of the northern blast?

The piercing frost, the mass of drifted snow,

That smooths the valley with the higher ridge,

and ev’ry winding nook and cranny fills?

These nooks and crannies are being filled with driving snow. Not at all appetizing, at least to me. And putting the two words together was surely due to the poet needing a few extra syllables. He could have picked one. Poets! Fie on their melodic words!

Which would you choose, a nook or a cranny version of the English muffin? Let me know. It’s a tough decision. They both sound delicious and having both together promises twice as much buttery, sugary reward.

If I were Thomas’ brand manager, I would try out an all-nook version, and a cranny-only version, as a limited-time stunt. A package with 100% Nooks. Or one with 100% Crannies. Let the people speak. See what happens to sales and online. In a country as divided as ours, it would be one more thing for us to take sides on, and endure each other’s surly rage.

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Jim Nolan
Jim Nolan

Written by Jim Nolan

Jim’s humor writing has appeared in The New Yorker, Funny Times, HumorOutcasts.com, McSweeneys Internet Tendency, and on WBFO public radio.

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